If you'd told my 28-year-old self that I'd feel more at peace with my body at 48 than I ever did in my twenties, I wouldn't have believed you. And yet, here we are.
Back then, exercise was transactional. I worked out because I believed I had to change the way I looked. Fitness was something to be endured in exchange for a smaller dress size. If it wasn't hard enough, sweaty enough or painful enough, then surely it didn't count.
A few decades and four children later, I'm a wiser version of that woman. These days I seek out movement that leaves both my body and my mind feeling stronger, calmer and happier.
Don't get me wrong, midlife has brought plenty of change and challenges. Housing and growing four humans left its mark. My hormones have had a few things to say about proceedings. I've recently been recovering from surgery, and discovered I was significantly deficient in iron, vitamin B12 and folate, which explained why I'd been feeling completely exhausted for months. My body has become much better at telling me when something isn't right, and, thankfully, I've become much better at listening.
There are some very real biological changes happening during this stage of life. As oestrogen declines, we naturally begin to lose muscle mass and strength unless we actively work to maintain it. Bone density starts to reduce, collagen production slows, recovery can take longer, and many women notice changes in sleep, energy and where they carry body fat. It can feel as though the rule book has been quietly rewritten.
But here's the part I wish more women were told: none of this means your best years are behind you. In fact, your forties can be the moment you build the strongest relationship you've ever had with your body.
These are the seven shifts that have helped me do exactly that, and hopefully they may just do the same for you.
1. Find a way of moving that you genuinely love
For years, I thought exercise had to feel hard to be worthwhile. Then I discovered barre, and it was a complete lightbulb moment. Here was a workout that challenged me, strengthened me and left me feeling energised rather than depleted. It was low impact but high intensity, kind to my joints but incredibly effective. I can't imagine ever watching the clock during a barre class. It's mindful movement that absorbs you completely.
After just one class, I knew I'd found something special. I closed down my personal training business and retrained in barre because I wanted other women to experience that same ta-da! moment: the moment they realise movement can feel nourishing, uplifting and genuinely enjoyable.
2. If you fear strength training, change the way you do it
Strength training is one of the most powerful things midlife women can do. It protects our muscles, supports bone health, boosts metabolism and helps us stay capable for decades to come. But if I'm honest, progressive overload in a gym has never really been my thing.
When I later created my own strength classes, I borrowed everything I loved about barre—the great music, the energy, the enjoyment—and combined it with progressive strength training. I wanted women to get all the benefits of lifting weights without feeling like they were counting endless reps in a silent gym. Because I don't believe effective ever has to mean boring.
3. Stop waiting until you have an hour
One of the biggest mindset shifts I've made is letting go of the idea that every workout has to be long to count. Most of us are juggling careers, children, ageing parents and endless to-do lists. Waiting for the mythical "perfect" hour often means doing nothing at all.
These days, some of my favourite workouts are just 15 or 20 minutes long. Enough to lift my mood, challenge my body and remind myself that I've done something positive today. Those shorter sessions have become some of the most valuable classes I teach, because they're the ones women can actually fit into real life.
4. Learn that recovery deserves as much attention as training
I used to wear exhaustion almost as a badge of honour, pushing through regardless. Time has taught me that recovery isn't a reward for working hard; it's an essential part of looking after myself. Learning to listen to my body rather than constantly overriding it has been one of the greatest gifts of midlife.
Sleep, good nutrition, protein and recovery have become just as important to me as any workout. They're not signs of weakness. They're what allow us to keep showing up for the long term.
5. Give up chasing perfection
There was a time when missing one workout meant I'd give myself a hard time. Now I know better. Every week presents different challenges. Sometimes there's barely enough space for a walk and a couple of 20-minute classes, and that's OK.
The women I work with don't need another impossible standard to live up to. They need permission to be flexible. Because real life isn't perfect, and neither are the routines that actually last.
6. Can I tempt you to try Barre?
People often ask me why barre has such devoted followers. I realise this goes against everything we've been conditioned to believe about exercise, but I think it's because the physical changes are only half the story. There's a kind of alchemy that happens in barre that I've never experienced anywhere else.
It's difficult to explain until you've felt it yourself. The concentration quietens your busy brain. The music lifts your mood. The tiny, precise movements demand your full attention, leaving no room for the mental to-do list you've been carrying around all day. By the end of class you're standing taller, not just physically, but emotionally too.
The stronger legs, better posture and improved balance are wonderful, but they're almost a by-product. Barre is every bit as good for my head as it is for my body, and I genuinely believe that's why women keep coming back.
7. Start to see ageing as something to prepare for, not something to fear
I don't exercise because I want to look like my 25-year-old self. I exercise because I'd like my 75-year-old self to have choices. I want to keep travelling, carrying shopping, playing with future grandchildren, climbing hills and feeling capable in my own body.
Ageing is inevitable. Frailty isn't.
Every workout I do today is a small investment in the woman I hope to become. Like compound interest, those seemingly insignificant deposits build over time, until one day you realise you've created something remarkably resilient.
At 48, I'm no longer exercising to change my body. I'm exercising because I finally appreciate everything it does for me. And that has been the biggest shift of all.
