Imagine choosing a global pandemic to make an international move. Now imagine doing it while 28 weeks pregnant with your first baby. That was us.
In 2021, my partner and I moved from the UK to Australia. We endured two weeks of hotel quarantine before finally arriving in my hometown of Melbourne, at the time the most locked-down city in the world.
Those early weeks with a newborn felt surreal. Empty streets became the backdrop to long walks fuelled by takeaway coffees and pastries, small comforts that helped soften the edges of sleep deprivation and the strange isolation of becoming a mother in what felt like a deserted city.
Then a mutual friend introduced me to another new mum.
We were both deep in the trenches of first-time motherhood, navigating feeds, wake windows, endless questions and the emotional rollercoaster of keeping a tiny human alive. We became walking buddies, spending hours talking through our fears, our hopes and the identity shift that comes with becoming someone's mother.
For the first time since giving birth, I felt understood. What had felt impossibly lonely slowly became manageable. That is the quiet power of friendship.
I often think about how fortunate I was to find that connection during such a vulnerable season, because the reality is that postpartum can be an incredibly lonely experience. We tend to focus on the baby, but a mother is undergoing one of the most significant physical, emotional and psychological transitions of her life.
Physically, the postpartum period is a time of immense healing. After birth, women experience one of the most dramatic hormonal shifts the human body undergoes, with oestrogen and progesterone levels falling rapidly in the first days after delivery. At the same time, the uterus begins contracting back to its pre-pregnancy size, connective tissues start repairing, pelvic floor muscles recover and breast milk production is established through complex hormonal changes. Many women are navigating all of this while adjusting to profound sleep deprivation.
But postpartum isn't just a physical recovery. It's an identity transformation.
The developmental psychologist Daniel Stern coined the term matrescence to describe the transition into motherhood, recognising it as a major life stage, much like adolescence. Alongside caring for a newborn, women are adjusting to a new sense of self, shifting relationships, changing priorities and the enormous responsibility of nurturing another human being. It's little wonder that feelings of vulnerability, anxiety and overwhelm can emerge during this time.
When these physical and emotional changes are combined with isolation, the impact can be significant. Research consistently shows that social support is one of the strongest protective factors for maternal mental health. A 2022 mixed-methods systematic review published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that insufficient support from partners, family and friends was associated with an increased risk of postpartum depression and anxiety, while women with stronger social support consistently experienced lower levels of both throughout the perinatal period.
Friendship isn't simply nice to have in postpartum. It can be a vital part of recovery. You don't even need the science to prove it. You feel the effect every time you share a deep conversation with your closest friends. Having someone to walk beside you, listen without judgement, reassure you that your worries are normal, or simply share a coffee with after another broken night's sleep can profoundly change how motherhood feels.
As both a registered nurse and a postpartum nutrition and wellbeing consultant, I am passionate about nourishing mothers through food, rest and evidence-based care. But I also believe that friendship and connection heal more than any supplement ever could. Postpartum health is holistic, and women remind us that we were never meant to do motherhood alone.
